Who are you?

There have been a few events recently which have got me asking philosophical questions galore. But one which constantly stands out is "Who am I?"

I've been told many times what I am: a girl, woman, daughter, sister, communications officer......When I was growing up, I was THE SWIMMER. "Hi, I'm Taryn"........."Oh, your the swimmer." How annoying, it was utterly annoying. So many times I just wanted to scream, I'm not just a swimmer...that's not who I am. What also amazed me was how, just because you were good at something, you automatically possessed certain characteristics like confidence, boastfulness, selfishness, a holier than though attitude. For those who truly know me, I hardly displayed any such characteristics, yet so many such attributes were accredited to me.

The many times I was accused, by adults, not even children, of doing things I could not even possibly dream of, still has negative connotations for me on this very day. The fact that when you are successful, there are so many who want nothing more than to destroy you. I think with regards my swimming career, that is what killed me...the people who didn't want to see me succeed. That is what caused me to throw in the towel, I was tired and just wanted to be normal. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for those who have true success, what amazingly strong individuals they are.

I did not possess that kind of strength at the time and when I did give up swimming, I confused Who I am with What I am. I kept thinking that without swimming I was not worth anything of true value, I had nothing to give or offer my family, friends or society. I still struggle with this concept today, 7 years after my very last training session and last competitive race. Can I be someone other than THE SWIMMER, can I have different dreams and aspirations and can I find success and happiness?

On the weekend I took one giant step in a positive direction. It's time to throw away the cloak of doubt, lack of confidence and knowledge and dream big. It's about asking for what you want, being open to receiving it and being grateful for all that you have. There are many who are skeptics about asking for things and truly believing that they deserve it. If you don't believe you are worthy, you will not acheive your dreams.

I know who I am now and I know who I want to be in the future. My dream is to be the best possible me I can be and not worry about what others think and say, not worry about their desire to see me fail. I want to be a great writer, one who is trustworthy, decisive, open-minded, generous, easygoing, fun and loyal. 

What's your dream?