I I Me Me

Self-Entitlement, it's a phrase I've heard being thrown around a lot lately. How has it become so ingrained in our society?

I'm not talking about our grandparents or our parents. They know what hard work is and eveything they have acquired through life they have most definately earned. I'm talking about us 20 and 30 somethings. Where do we get off just expecting to get the things we want, without so much as having to exert a small amount of hard work and energy? And please bear in mind, I am generalising here and all you self-entitled persons know who you are!!!

Right off the bat, we want the most luxurious car, the penthouse apartment, the manager's job, top of the range iPhone and, and, and. We think that because we got our degree we now know everything and therefore get everything. What happened to working our way up?

I have also witnessed those who are nothing more than talented in brown nosing and this seems to take people far. Schooled on the latest jokes and always ready to point the finger when things go wrong. Management is jumping at the opportunity to promote these folk.

For us who show initiative, street smarts, passion and for the most part, do our job efficiently and well, this is frowned upon. We can also "prove" ourselves to the death, yet if an opportunity arises for promotion, someone from outside the institution gets the buy in. Probably one of those 20-30 something self-entitled blokes.

I'm not suprised so many impressionable youngsters have this attitude when you look at those who are considered role models: the Paris Hilton's, Kardashians and WAG's of the world, riding on the coat tails of their family or husbands history and success.

I also wonder why those who have worked so hard to reap their rewards don't instill such character in their children, instead of giving them whatever it is they want. Have you ever seen "My Sweet 16"? Impressionable teenagers are watching this stuff!

I too would love to have whatever I want, whenever I want, but unfortunately I was not born with the self-entitlement gene and I sure wasn't encouraged to demand such abundancies. I have been lucky and my folks have tried to provide for many of our wants and all our needs, but not our demands.

When will all this self-entitlement and greed end? Who know's, but I do know, that as long as I surround myself with the family and friends I have now, there is much hope for the future of our society.

'Tis the Season

Wow, so quickly December is upon us. I say this every year, but I swear it creeps up on us much faster as we get older (Not that I'm old or anything!)

Every month I pray for pay day only to watch all my pennies fall by the wayside to bills, bills and more bills.....December is so much worse. Not only do you have to worry about bills, bills, bills, but now there are gifts, gifts, gifts!!! What???

Christmas has become mercilessly over commercialised. Last weekend marked the end of the month and the beginning of the crazy season...and boy was it crazy! I went to our local shopping mall to buy some necessities and it was just well, crazy, already. The next few weeks are going to be brutal for retailers. Apparently people in South Africa are starting to spend again after the recession, just at the right time.

I remember the old days, when shopping was not a pass time but only if you really, really needed something. When the shops were CLOSED on a Sunday...scandalous! Can you imagine not being able to "shop" on a Sunday?  Sounds like heaven to me........

I say to everyone, including myself, let's not shop on a Sunday. Let's spend the day with family, celebrating love and togetherness, become one with nature, go on a picnic, go to the beach, have a braai, play a round of golf, lounge by the pool and read a really good book. When it's raining, watch a great DVD or the Discovery channel, play a boardgame, play the Wii, read a really good book. Sounds like heaven to me.....

Get back to basics, Sunday is a rest day! Then we can stop being so busy, busy, busy!!!!

Inadequate

Last week I attended a conference for Public Relations and Communications practitioners. Well, didn't this little soiree leave me feeling rather inadequate!! Not in a bad way, but I was left pondering as to how I can be considered a Communications Practitioner, when I'm merely scratching the surface of what it is these practitioners do, on a daily basis.

These almighty practitioners are doing things that are rather exciting and intellectually stimulating, bringing a valuable service to their respective companies. I had no idea the King Report III or new Companies Act even existed, nevermind their importance to our profession.

This begs the question: What am I doing? Where am I going? Just when I thought I was figuring things out, along came that hunk of self-doubt and loathing, galloping down the chosen path, bumpling me into "What If?" oblivion! It drives me nuts, again having to re-evaluate my life. I'm not unhappy, don't get me wrong, a lot is happening right now, but it just feels like something is missing, something is not making sense.

Is it my job and the fact that myself, as well as the department I represent, are not taken seriously at my workplace, when others in my chosen field are clearly moving forward in leaps and bounds? All I know, is that I enjoy writing...so where to from here?

But what about that coffee shop I always dreamed of owning or the B&B? Or the novel I've always wanted to write, movie script, or the travel journalist? Huh? Confusion sometimes reigns, for all of us.

What if we could make those dreams come true? Over the weekend I just happened to browse through many a magazine and read about how individuals have taken the plunge and followed their dreams with loads of success. There are so many wonderful, amazing, successful and dynamic people out there. How do I become one of them? They all sound like they really know what they are talking about......I on the other hand, as my friend always says, am "Well-Read". Is this a compliment, is this a positive characteristic? What can i do as a "Well-Read" person?

I guess as always, it boils down to taking the risk and going after that elusive dream. Go get 'em tiger....and I'm not referring to the Wood's type of gung-ho!!!!

In the meantime, my ass belongs to the bank, what was that King Report III saying......

Signing It Away!

Eish! So I took the plunge and have invested in some property! What a daunting, expensive task!!! As much as I have desperately wanted to take this step for a while, I'm beginning to wonder why we can't miss steps like these all together??

I'm not sure if it was the same back in the day, but it does not seem you get much bang for your buck anymore. I love the place I have chosen, it is just right for me and in a building I have been eyeing for a long time. It is spacious, has fantastic views, is well kept and has a great mix of old and young residents. But when I consider what I'm going to have eventually dished out for the place, when ALL the moolah has been handed over, after 20 years....really, it's worth THAT much....yeah right, I could easily throw in the towel.

As a single-income-single-chick, I never thought this day would come......my ass officially belongs to the bank and my signature is now apparently worth a few bob. Signing your life away is not much fun, I was feeling rather queasy this morning. And then to top it off you always find out after you have checked and re-checked all the facts and figures, that there is just one more person who needs to dive into your piggy bank!!! Hello, after all the checking and re-checking, ze piggy bank is empty. I'm going to have to sell all my worldly possessions to cover this one...oh, wait, I have none. Suddenly, I realise why the lawyer is driving the lovely brand, spanking new Chrysler...Hello? And all because he chopped down half the rain forest and made me sign it!!!

And after all that number crunching it looks like this single-income- single-chick will have to rent my new baby out! Boo. So, for the next year I will still be living under the iron fist of the rentals! (Honestly, they aren't that bad:0)

It's just strange, when you sit down and really consider what is most valuable in life, is it really worth what car you drive, where you live, how much you earn? Or should we place more emphasis on the people we love and the experiences we share?

I'm leaning toward the latter!

Instant Gratification

We live in a selfish world. When we want something, we want it now and sometimes the consequences of our actions are never fully considered.

I have a rule, which drives most people nuts, but it's my rule: Does not mean because I have a cell phone I'm available 24/7. I'm not at anyone's beck and call and I'm not an instant gratification service provider. When did it all become so crazy?

Is it because of the technological advancements? This argument carries a lot of weight. Instant Messaging, MMS, SMS, email, cell phones, Facebook, Twitter, the list is endless. All have their advantages and disadvantages, but does it warrant this insatiable hunger to have everything NOW?

Listening to everyone talk about how hectic and stressful life is, is incredibly tiring in itself. When, why and how did we forget to stop and smell the roses. When did we become so busy that we don't even have time for ourselves, nevermind the few minutes it would take to dial the number of a good friend, ask how they are and really listen to their answer.

Everything seems so superficial. Nothing seems real, its all a blur. I'm not excusing myself from such behaviour. On numerous occassions I have found myself agreeing to the "Stresses Out" pshyco-babble. It's sad, really sad and so frustrating. When did we have to resort to working through the night, possibly even on weekends. Why do we have dining rooms, when most meals are consumed in front of the TV. And why do children have conversations with each other, in the same room, over Facebook or Mixit?

My friend Rach wrote of a similar topic a few weeks back and I was so relieved to know that this busyness is not limited to us loonies here in Joburg, but is an international "phenomenon".

It's November already and I'm struggling to remember where most of the year has gone. South Africa hosted an awesome World Cup and it already feels like it was moons ago.

I think its time we took it slow. Stopped and acknowledged the beauty around us, appreciated the finer things in life. Taste our food, really connect with somebody. Talk to them, look them in the eye.

I remember when we were being exposed to the rolling black outs from our exceptional electricity service provider, Eskom. Wow, secretly I actually looked forward to them. No TV, no "noise", conversation, laughter, thought provoking topics, crickets, rustling of leaves swaying in the light summer breeze.

I know, I sound seriously nostalgic, but this is how it should be.

Don't rush to wait. Wait, take a deep breath and just be!



Time has Wings

Is it just me, or does time seem to speed up the longer you are out of school? The other day I was having a conversation with a colleague and I almost platzed when I realised that I have been out of school for 14 years already. And I could swear it was just the other day the World Cup was here and next week it will be November. I need a pause button.

The shopping centres have dusted off their Christmas decorations and most people are organising year end functions and thinking of their holidays looming on the horizon. Mmm, a holiday, I would really like one, but not a drive down to the coast, I want to go overseas and ski, visit Spain and Paris, drink hot toddies and bundle up in layers of warm wollies. There is nothing like a Christmas in the cold. Somehow, a braai just doesn't seem right. I suppose for those who have not experienced a "White Christmas", this statement would not fly with you....it doesn't fly with my Mom either: She hates cold weather!

Most of all, we must not forget what this time of year is all about; A time to give. This weekend myself, my sis and a couple of friends will be volunteering at the Santa Shoebox Project. What a wonderful initiative! I particlarly like it because it provides needy children with neccessities as well as toys. Give them what they need.

All of us have had such fun filling our "shoeboxes" and it has been a hot topic of conversation, but still, so many more of us could get involved and lend a helping hand. Let's forget about the rat race, that we don't have time to do anything...if you are really committed, you will make time. And you will make the effort.

Bill Gates and Willaim Buffett, the 2nd & 3rd richest people on earth, respectively, recently started The Giving Pledge. A challenge directed toward the USA's most wealthy to give away the majority of their wealth to charitable causes. Today, 34 billionaires have signed on.

Now, I know, the majority of us do not have this kind of money at our disposal, but you don't need money to do charitable things. You need time.

Make some, make a difference and feel good about it.

I wait for the change.

Inspired

Wow, this last week has been an eye opener. I have truly been inspired.....

On Sunday I took part in the iThemba Breast Cancer Awareness Walk. I got up early, dragged my butt, along with my sisters, out of bed and tootled off to Marks Park to show my support for those who continue to fight this terrible disease and those who are searching feverishly for a cure. I was most concerned about finding something pink to wear, but it seemed my shocking pink scarf and white and pink striped cotton underwear would have to suffice. Needless to say, I was underdressed! I loved the guys in their tutu's, crazy pink wigs, girls in top hats, dogs with bows and ribbons ( I want my own dog to walk) and kids showing their enthusiasm and stamina...much more than mine! What inspired me most were the young ladies who walked on crutches, due to missing fit or severe disabilities. A whole 5km's on crutches!!??? There are no words to describe such courage. I was in such awe. And I was in awe at the fact that I walked 5km's and it felt great!

Which left me wondering why I was not doing this more often. Why had I become so lazy, so unfit and uninspired? This has got to change.

So, Sunday night I drew up a schedule and decided right there and then, I was going to make more of an effort. Monday morning I got up early and went to gym to do my cardio workout for 40 minutes and Monday night I went to my Pilates class. This morning, I got up early again. And it feels great! If I had to be honest, all those excuses of no time and I hate waking up early, what a load of bollocks! It's about making a decision to do it, and yes, just doing it! Getting up in the morning, with such fantastic weather, as we have here in South Africa is easy. Getting to the gym is easy, getting on the treadmill is easy, doing the workout is...ja, you thought I would say easy, but that part is not, and it shouldn't be.

I've been inspired, by the countless number of women who I read about in the Shape magazine each month. How much weight they have lost, often in very short spaces of time, all because they demonstrated such courage and determination. There are many people who suggest that we should be happy with what we have, and I think if a larger women is happy with her weight, all power to her, but I'm not happy.....particularily when I used to be in such great shape! Not cool...and how did I get here, so fast, without thought or consideration? Once a Dolphin, flip- now a whale!!! Bliksem.

It's about time I dealt with my weighty issues once and for all and now I have no excuse and I will be held accountable: By you ofcourse:0) And if Kelly Osbourne and Jennifer Hudson can do it...why the heck can't I? Inspired.


I weight patiently for the results.

What about a Guy?

At the tender age of .....well, now, would I really reveal my age to you? I'm a traditionalist and a futurist all at the same time. Some things I prefer to do the traditional way, others the new.
Which brings me to my tender age and boyfriends, fiancé's and husbands...of which I have none! Would be nice to have all three.....Yes, this is where traditionalist comes into play.

There is immense pressure at the moment to "settle down", do the ball and chain thing. I'm not sure if I'm putting pressure on myself or if the fact that I constantly seem to be the spare wheel or bringing up the rear, so to speak, in comparison with my family and friends, is the heavyweight.

There is no doubt that I would love to meet "the one" and have a wonderful family life, with my very own pigeon pair, two dogs, a cat, maybe a parrot, swimming pool, large garden, house, I would even consider being Mom's taxi. According to those "in the know" time is running out.

It's the first question I get asked these days: "So, what about a guy? Who you dating?" And for the thousandth time I have to sheepishly reply "Nope, Nobody, Nada. Nothing!" To be honest, I get a tad bit embarrassed. I'm sure I'm not hideous, I'm certainly round on the edges, carrying that sack of potatoes on the butt and thighs, but I'm awesome!! Thoughtful, caring, for the most part funny, passionate about charitable issues and the environment, successful, driven, sport's savvy and down-to-earth. So what the bloody-you-know-what is the issue???

When ambushed with the above question, I'm quick to enquire as to where I'm supposed to meet this knight in shining armour, to which I get a resounding "I have no idea"!! Well, blimey, why don't you have a solution?

I'm not into the club scene, a bar is a no-no thanks to my non-bingeing drinking habits and anti-smoking stance. I did try online dating at the beginning of this year. I found it to be a wee bit like a meat market. It seemed appearance was all that mattered and let's not forget, I'm a traditionalist, it just did not feel right or comfortable. I also found that I too started to become a neurotic snob, putting brawn and good looks first. Sis on me!!!!

So, what is the answer? I'm open to blind dates.....as long as my personal body guard is on stand by in case of emergency; Moooommmmm!!!! A nice meal with some good conversation would be really appealing. And I do eat, I'm not a supermodel in waiting, munching on lettuce and a carrot. I love food, I like to cook, try new things. And although I'm not a binger, sharing a bottle of Red is so on.

I guess this just begs the question..."Don't you have any friends you could introduce me to?"

Yes, I'm still waiting.

In the beginning.....

There is an Elephant in the room....well, a few actually! It seems the heavy weights continue to hang around, no matter what course of action I take to diminish them. Waiting for this, weighting for that. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm ever going to grow up, or rather feel like a grown up.

I'm doing all the things grown up's are supposed to do: work, eat, sleep, work, save, spend, invest, work...workout. Nope, not budging. It all began 6 years ago when I opted to stop swimming and start treading. The "real" world seemed so exciting and scary all at the same time. It was my opportunity to leave the comforts of a sport I had known for most of my life. Stopwatches, endless laps, toned physiques, chlorine perfume, flaky skin, ridiculous hours and the only time I was good at Math, counting tiles at the bottom of the pool. It was time.

For a few years after I clung to the life jacket that was swimming, floating between jobs, in particular swim teaching and coaching.  I thought this was my path, this was all I would ever be "good" at. To be honest, it just became boring and a real pain in the rear. I admire anyone who works in the industry, but it just wasn't stimulating for me.

And so I stuck to my guns and continued to pursue a career in the industry I had studied: Communications. Today, I work as a communications officer and I seem to be picking up the pace. I aint just treading anymore...the doggy paddle is kicking in. Yet, that elephant, those elephants are still there........